Monday, August 25, 2014

New car

So I have been shopping for a new car. My conclusion is that everything I want in a car is not available. I searched for Subarus and Buicks,  for Fords and Toyotas, for Hondas and Chevys. To no avail. Just when I thought all was lost,  I  was driving home from some random job today and I saw the perfect car. The perfect car. The. Perfect. Car.
I got home and searched the internet for the car I spotted. The only identifying mark I could see was a VTS on the back. It took several searches. I finally found it.
A Citroen Berlingo. Not available in the States. Only available as a disabled person vehicle. Made especially for wheelchair access. Seriously. Fuck.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Anxiety at 3 a.m.

So sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night.  My mind starts going over all the bad news of the day, the stupid things on Facebook, the mistakes I've made in my life, or any regrets I have. It takes everything in me to not relive situations I feel I should have responded better in.  It's actual term is ruminatory anxiety disorder. At least that is what my therapist called it.  He also did punch to the gut therapy which I never really thought did much.   I wonder how other people who have done much worse things sleep. 
Like Hitler or Pol Pot, or Captain Kangaroo.  How do they live with themselves?  How do they get sleep? Is the rock really just such deep self delusion? It must work on a sliding scale. Like sometimes I wake up and my anxiety revolves around something at work or if that sound was a burglar,  or if the police will piece together the clues I left behind (They won't.  None of them is Sherlock Holmes. Hell, there isn't even a Columbo in the bunch. ). If I have nothing going on my anxiety becomes more about if I set the alarm or if there is enough milk for my cereal.  I'm sure if I killed a couple million people my anxiety level would just slide to that base level. I mean,  I guess I can't test that theory. I don't even have army. Yet.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Gold rush tv

There is an allure about living in the Klondike and mining gold. Not the way those dudes on Gold Rush T.V. show do it. That show should be called Gold Diggin Noobs. I don't know how anyone could be less prepared for mining. I would probably read a book on mining gold before I did it. I would also probably have a plan B. It's like these guys went to Alaska to be cooks at Perkins and some drunken evening someone offered them a gold mine and they said sure.
There is another one that has two dudes who are overly muscular and they are in Africa somewhere. The keep trying all these get gold fast schemes. they need the cash because they are both in debt from the housing crash. They were realtor/developers in California. One may have been an MMA fighter or something. Holy fuck, if there were two guys I would pick to be dead inside of a month it would be these two. Constantly bickering with the locals and investors and whomever they come across. They keep trying to do these sketchy gold deals and then they get robbed. My guess is they staged the robbery for the cameras because they lost the real money on gambling, hookers, or protein powders or some stupid shit.
The last one I have seen is one where people dive into the water in Alaska and dredge the bottom for runoff gold. That one is a little bit cool but here is the problem. Apparently, no one knows how to engineer anything. How can people have so many breakdowns of equipment?
I know reality TV has to have some conflict, but really?
What I want to see is some engineering geeks built shit that works, go up to Alaska, and put all these assholes to shame. I know it has to be overdone for TV so maybe they add some football player types across the valley that they have to compete against. I just really want some smart people on TV getting rich and famous for a change. Is that too much to ask?

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Inappropriate comment story. Not really.

So, a number of years ago I was asked to escort a new hire up to HR to fill out some paperwork. We walked up the steps and across the cube land to the HR assistant's desk. Her Desk was on the other side of a four and a half foot wall that had a writing surface on the to of it. Her desk was behind the wall and lower down at typical desk height. We politely asked for the paperwork that my coworker needed to sign. I looked down at her desk and saw two ripe plums. It was really early in the season for plums. Just as I am about say how delicious the plums look, she leans forward to grab the forms. Her blouse drops open a bit and we can see directly down her shirt. I look over at my coworker and he looks at me. She sits back in her chair. I look at her, smile and say...nothing. I say nothing because I'm not an asshole. Regardless of her being the HR assistant. That really had nothing to do with it. I'm just not a dick. I mean, I am. Just not in that way.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Looking for a job

So I'm looking for a job. This is the first time in 17 years that I've had to look for work. I've switched jobs since then, but I've been sought out. Basically asked if I wanted the job. Now I'm in a new town and have to look for a job.  No more paper resume is kinda a nice change. Online this and that is so much more convenient.  Emailing instead of driving and calling is pretty nice too. The fact that I can job search in my undies is pretty sweet.  Interviewing in my undies seems to be less than appreciated, though. In my industry it used to be considered taboo to wear a dress shirt.  Now it's all "I need you to put your pants on." And can you put out that comically large cigar." And "Live kittens are not for juggling." Whatever. I'm my own person. I can't be held back! Or held down. And cuffed.  And sometimes tazed.
I'm a free spirit. My work should speak for itself. Most people think phone book delivery is a thing of the past, but I will keep it alive!
Now where are my pants? Oh, who am I kidding. I don't need pants.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dead Friends

  There is death all around us. There are the deaths that affect us.  Then there are the deaths that affect us in profound ways. I had a friend who died a number of years ago. He was not a close friend, but he was a GOOD friend.  He was a coworker and a fun person. Most of all, he was fair. More fair than anyone I had ever met. I valued that enormously. I didn't go to the funeral. We were not close, but  I thought so much of him that I was embarrassed by how much his death affected me. To this day my eyes water when I see his name. He was the kind of person that I want to be. He was the kind of person I want everyone to be. I am sure there are things about him I would not like if I had known him better, but those are things I never saw. I am not sure they are things anyone saw other than his spouse and really close friends.
 I do know this. I have many times said "Never meet your heroes." but there are always exceptions. This is one. The only one I know of.
Tom, you are missed and will always be so.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Boys club.

I really don't get the Boys Club mentality. What is the allure there? I think any business or organization would benefit from diversity. When I see a board room picture and it is all old white dudes all I can think is 'sausage party'. The same goes for the Boys Night Out mentality. Is is all guys so they can make inappropriate jokes about women? How lame is that? It reminds me of adolescence boys snapping each other with towels in the locker room and making fart jokes. Maybe find women who like a good fart joke then. They are out there.