Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Things I think are cool.

Most of the things I think are cool fall well outside of the mainstream. Freethinkers are cool to me, not trend starters.
I remember when revenge of the needs came out. It made nerds 'cool'. What it really did was make being smart and different acceptable. There was the smart guys and the gay guy and the dirty pre hipster guy (booger). Different became mainstream. It created the awareness of niche groups in society. Nerds became aware the they were not alone.
Now there are sub groups of groups. Subnerds. Subgeeks.
Normal has been worn out. Everyone is willing to admit their geek side. Comic collector, MST3K fan, Trekkie, audiophile, maker, whatever it is. Is it good?
It's fucking great.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The movie of my life.

What would the ending scene be if my life were made into a movie?
Maybe me, bleeding out in a museum of taxidermy. In front of a Snowy Egret.
Maybe the backside of someone walking away with my pancreas in their hand leaving a trail of blood from my cut open guts.
Maybe a splat at the bottom of a canyon like Wile E. Coyote. (Super-genius)
Maybe a shot of my swollen throat and a Little Debbie Swiss Cake wrapper clutched in my hand.
Maybe in a hospital with the standard beeeeeeeee of the heart monitor and then someones hand can do that magic 'wave the hand over the eyes to close them' bullshit thing they do in movies.
Maybe a long shot of frozen tundra and a long zoom in on my frozen open eyes.
Maybe a crappie flop finish ala Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner
Maybe riding away on a horse while some kid is yelling "Enmelishment! Come Back!"
Maybe in a duel to the death using spearguns.
Maybe a road rage incident.
Maybe in a burning cult compound in Texas with twenty or thirty of my followers.
Maybe a shot of my Addidas and track suit. A news report in the background making bad puns about "Hale Bopp with  Cyndi Lauper's She Bop as the lead in.
Maybe a blackout with a long, final exhale.
Maybe "Rosebud"
Not "Rosebud".
I can only hope it is a good movie up til that point.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Holy crap! It is so nice out.

It's eighty degrees and it's Mid March. These are the kind of days that I don't care if the world is heating up. Of course when it is 150 degrees out this summer I will be singing a different tune. More likely I will be screaming in agony every time I have to go outside "Holy shit, it's so hot!" and everyone's car interiors will melt, and no one will be outside and it will suck. But for now it's pretty sweet.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Broken system

It has been nearly fifty years since the borders between states had become fences. Political divides had become so great that there were three types of states in the Ununited States Of America. Red White and Blue. Red had become the religious/conservative states, Blue had become secular/technology states and White were the few states left that allowed moderates of both. The White states are few and far between. Between all of the states there is a ten mile wide path that is federal controlled FreeLand that allows travel without venturing into the wrong state. The Red states suffer from overpopulation and lack of infrastructure. The blue are doing fine. In fact they are doing too well and conficts between the Blue and the Red in the border areas is increasing. There have been attacks between the Red and White states, but those have been mostly looting attacks on food transports. The attacks between the Red and Blue state border areas have grown into more than theft, there is now attacks that do not involve theft, only damage and casualties. the Reds blame the Blues, but it is only the Blues that are loosing people and supplies. It's pretty obvious what is happening. Obvious enough that the isolated Blue states are building defenses or being abandoned. The Fedral government is useless to stop it. There will be war.
    It will be a short fight. Red has the population but Blue has the technology. Technology has never lost the day.

Friday, March 9, 2012

I killed a man on Luna just to watch him die

So, as it turns out, if you kill someone on the moon, nothing happens when you get back to Earth. The moon is completely lawless. I know it was a bit of a risk to hit that asshole in the face shield with a rock hammer. I knew there would be a chance he would hit me back, or claw at me and tee my suit. I knew there would be no one left to help if something went wrong. I knew it would be a tough trip back with two let alone solo. The blank look on his face was worth it all. I could see on his quickly bluing face he knew why.
I didn't care. That guy was an asshole and no one will miss him. Now we both have immortality. He is the first murder victim on the moon and I am the first murderer. I have brought the sins of man to the moon.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Dumb phone

So,I noticed a crack on the back of my phone. I did what most people with an iPhone would do. I screamed and cried my eyes dry. Then I went to the Apple store. I had to make an appointment. I feel less sad and feel more like an idiot because I am making an appointment to get my phone checked over by a white guy in the 'Genius Bar'. I go to my appointment and the guy says "we really don't fix that. We just have you buy a new one for $149."
They don't fix a cracked back plate. I guess the term genius does not include ingenuity. Or helpfulness. Or wanting to conserve resources. I said that as loud as I could.
Here's something good to know. People who work in stores don't like it when you tell them the problem with their service or product loud enough to inform other customers.
So I said that as loud as I could without screaming. Everyone stops and looks at me. I ask the guy again why I can't get the back of my phone fixed without replacing the whole phone. He asks me to quiet down. So I ask again. And he asks me to quiet down or I will have to leave.
At this point I lean in real close to him and say I'm not leaving without a new back for my phone. He asks me to leave. I stand up. I step up on the chair and up on the counter. Everyone is looking at me. I have an audience.
"Remember the awesome 1984 Apple commercial. The person runs in and throws the torch or whatever it was into the screen? All the faceless grey masses are you." I say.
I turn to the 60 inch tv behind the genius bar counter And throw my iPhone into it. It doesn't explode like it did in the commercial. It broke apart and broke the screen of the tv. Pretty anticlimactic. Until I notice the sprinkler head directly above me.
Water voids the warranty I think to myself as I punch the glass vial. Water comes shooting out as the screaming starts. I quickly jump to the next counter and as I'm running down, I'm hitting every sprinkler head in the store. I get to the end of the counter and jump for the door landing on top of several Apple sheep and we go down in a heap. I jump off the top and help a few people up. I look back inside and pull the doors closed as the last customer gets out. I pull my belt off and tie the doors shut. The geniuses are running around trying to protect product.
I turn to the crowd behind me.
I say "I hear the new androids are nice." and walk away.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


So, Pinterest. I signed up for Pinterest under my real name. I really haven't done anything in it but put up a few pictures. It is pretty interesting to look at. And i am already networked pretty well. Just not quite sure of it's usefulness yet. Can't wait for the creepers to ruin it.