Saturday, February 25, 2012

In my head it's funny

I can't tell you how often I think things are funny and no one else does. Uncomfortable silences I find very funny. Things in threes with a pause and an accompanying fourth. Jokes about death. Science jokes. Puns. Tumbleweeds. '_____ walks into a bar' jokes. Flat punch line delivery. Anything that sounds dirty but isn't. Anything dirty. Clearing of the throat in quiet situations. Inadvertant rhythms. Ricky Gervais. Embelishments. Enmelishment. Exagerations. And of course the 'When someone is lifting something heavy and says "can I get a hand" and someone else (usually me) applauds' gag. Holy shit, that never gets old. Never, never, never.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The end of my life of crime

Ive made a good living in crime. The dream of course is to make enough to retire to some small country that has low taxes and asks no questions. That, as I have come to realize is extremely rare. It's like the music business. There are a lot of one hit wonders, there are a few big artists, but to make money you have to be a producer. To make money in crime, being the one who orchestrates the score s the one who makes the big money. I am not the producer. I am the minor one hit wonder. The one who got to 25'th on the top forty chart once.
Now I am the broke has been. I am the guy livin in the shitty apartment in the bad part of town. I am the guy who sold some information to make rent and a few meals. I am the guy who got sold out for even less. I am the guy bleeding out in the alley behind said shitty apartment building. I'm the dead guy that doesn't make the news. Yeah, I made a good living in crime. Past tense.

I went to a talk on evolution

I went down to the local library and saw a talk by a super famous biological anthropologist. It was a very interesting talk. He spoke about Darwin and Victorian times and modern evolution studies. What I leaned was Darwin was pretty a progressive thinker and had great deductive reasoning. Some of his colleagues, like a guy, I think his name was Seattle Sutton or Simple Simon, or something like that, was a total asshat. The guy was afraid of races that were darker skinned than him and feared that even having them serve his food might give him some disease. Damn, I hope the cooks spit in his food.
The talk also several biased studies made since that propagate faulty reasoning that place whites on the top of the intellectual pile. One by a Sasha Baren Cohen, no that's not his name, Regis Philbin, maybe? No. Rilo Kailey? No, damn, I can't remeber his name. Anywho, he was an asshat, too. His study showed IQ and brain size differences between races. Totally crap study. What I find hardest to believe is that even after these studies have been proven to be faulty, people still rely on them for data. How do educated people start with bad data and think their study will be correct? They don't make sandwiches with bad meat and think "Well the bread is fresh so I won't get sick." those people have wasted their education, credibility, and our time.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I want a new job...

Only because of the people I have to deal with do I dislike my job. it's a good job really and embalming hamsters for proper hamster burial is a great challenge. Especially getting the hair just right afterward. Cute little critters. Sooo delicious...mmmmmmm. Oh, now where was I? Oh yeah, my boss is a dickweed and my coworker is a mouth breather without any style sense. How can you not understand how to brush a hamster's hair. I mean really? It's not Dolly Parton, it's a hamster.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The grind

When life starts to grinds on it seems I become less imaginitive. new experiences seem to drive creativity as much as necessity does. Day in and day out. Sigh. Only one thing to do I guess, become a professional gambler.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

People's from other countries...

People from other countries, I find your accents cute. I want to pinch your little cheeks. tee hee.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Radio political reasoning

I heard this on NPR this morning. I wont get the quotes exactly right, but it will be close.
They were interviewing people about their choices for GOP candidates. Here in Minnesota Santorum is in the lead. How that happens, I don't know. The guy they interview first is going to vote for Newt. He says he is conservative. He identifies himself as a conservative even though he lives in liberal Minnesota. He then says all the other candidates are picking on Newt so there must be something there that makes him the right choice. Otherwise, why would they be picking on him? Um...Something there?!?
The failure of reasoning here typifies poor political judgement. He isn't the underdog. He is a disgraced congressman and a shitty husband and a fuck poor Christian and an arrogant loudmouth ass.
You know what? All of the GOP candidates are picking on Obama! You should vote for him! Dumbfuck...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Politic shit

Normally I don't get into politics. Especially on this blog, but there is something that bothers me. It seems we are moving left as a society, but the rhetoric is moving to the right. The more liberal we become, the louder the voices against it. I'm not sure I understand who the voices against change are, but it sounds more like desperation...