Friday, January 28, 2011


I am finally getting a bit of a break from work. I have taken a few days to hit up a few parties. It is tough being social with people you are plotting to ruin. When I say ruin, I mean ruin. My whole existence is built around collecting information about people. All day everyday. It is hard to turn that off. When I talk to people, or I should say listen to people, I search for nuances. Little things that tell me when people are telling the whole story. I have learned to glean info out of the smallest twitch, or the lack of one. It makes having friends hard. I continually know what people really mean. It makes having relationships harder.
Maybe I will just stay home and watch History channel.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I went ot for a walk tonight

I went out for a walk tonight and it is really cold. I decided to take the wagon with the water tank. It has a little sprayer on it. I like to mist water in the center of intersections. It's not so people can't stop. It's so they can't get going.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Keep on keepin on

I realize I need to keep writing or this will surely slide to a stop.
This being a dumping ground for my thoughts, it tends to wander into the strange. And the made up. Some is fact and most is fiction.
I still have less views of this page than I have posts. I think that is kinda funny. I know a guy who wrote a book about how there is nothing original in film. No shit, Sherlock. I don't think the book sold well. I kindof hope it didn't. That guy was an ass. Thought it was fun to manipulate people and was incredibly easy to manipulate. A few words of criticism would spiral into a day of self analyzation. Fucking pathetic. I find I am my own worst critic. Sometimes I will build or create something that everyone will love and I will hate it. Othertimes will love something that no one likes. Beauty is in the eye of the beautified. Fuckers.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

College story.

This relates to the previous post in that there is popcorn mentioned.
We had come up with the idea of filling a friends dorm room with popcorn. If anyone ever gets the idea to do this, remember to use air popped to avoid a greasy mess. I used an air popper. Three of them to be exact. Remember too, that if you decide to do this, it takes a long fucking time to pop alot of popcorn. We popped enough to fill the room about two and a half feet deep of popcorn. I would reccomend packing peanuts. The effect wasn't awesome. It was rather dull really. To get rid of it all we hosed it down with acetone and lit it on fire. Also, if you do this, take it out of the room first to avoid about two hundred thousand dollars of damage. Or not.


I am growing a little weary of the religion and politics that are discussed at ou family gatherings. I have taken to screaming 'facist' every time politics come up (it works for Glen Beck) and 'papist' every time religion comes up. I don't really know if 'papist' really means a stoolie for the pope, but I think people called Kennedy that when he was running for president. I just scream it until the room goes quiet. Then I politely ask who would like some popcorn. Because everyone loves popcorn.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I've taken some extreme measures to combat this reoccuring snow problem as of late. I have put a layer of heating coils made for under bathroom tiles across my whole yard and sidewalk. I have then covered it in a three inch layer of salt. To be extra sure I also pu a ring of space heaters around the perimeter. I then sank ten two foot diameter pipes into the mantle of the earth and got a couple heat pumps to pull the heat of the earth up to the surface. That, along with the tire fire with the magnesium shavings should keep the snow off.

Friday, January 14, 2011


I'm makin' most of this shit up, people.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Drag race

When I was in high school we were In my friends car at a stoplight. Next to us was a preist. We took off and the preist was keeping up, then pulled ahead. My freind stepped on the gas pedal with all of us in the car cheering. We were in a slightly faster car and caught up. We were just starting to pull away and as we crested the speed limit, the preist let up on the gas pedal and we pulled away. At the time we all thought he was cool because he raced us, but as an after thought ( a much after thought) I think there was another lesson to be learned. Priests are pussies.

I was on my way

I was on my way to work this morning and realized how many people have navagation systems on/in their dashboard. Really how many people have them on all the time. Do they not drive to work every day? I guess they use it to see if traffic is bad or something, but I've figure out a plan to foil them. I bought a signal jammer. Now I just watch all the people with phones and gps keep looking and shaking their devices. Look, poke. Look, shake. Look, poke. Look, shake.
Hee hee hee.

This one time

This one time...

Sunday, January 9, 2011


If I just keep repeating something to myself, it doesn't make it true. Suppose it has the opposite effect. If I repeat something to myself over and over I get irritated by what it is I'm saying. I tend to really question what I'm saying. How is it people don't do that?
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
I am poor and anonomous.
That should do it. Now I wait...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


The hardest part about blog writing is finding the time. I usually get a little quiet timeat the very end of the day, but am usually tired out by then. I should maybe start my day at work with jotting a few things down. I have a meeting every morning. Usually if I write the word kill over and over again on my notepad I usually don't get asked any questions. I'll start doing that more. If that doesn't work, I will put some names after the word kill. I'll start with names of people I don't know and make the names closer to my coworkers names if people still bother me. That should work just fine.

Monday, January 3, 2011

I'm back.

I had too much shit to carry.


Sometimes when I'm stuck in traffic I think about the movie Falling Down. When the dude gets out of his car while stuck in traffic and leaves his car there. I wonder why terrorists don't do that everyday. I'd do it if I was trying to incapacitate a city. Ten cars at major roadways and any city would gridlock. Do it in the morning and the financial loss from people being late would be astronomical. And no one gets hurt. Just alot of angry people with no one to blame. I'm gonna do that right now. I'll let you know how that works.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


Someday computers and robots will handle all our tedious tasks. It will give us more time to bitch about how technology is ruining our lives. And it is. Okay, it really isn't. It just makes our lives diferent. Like now I can look up anything on my phone. I can know answers to questions where ever and when ever. I don't have to go to the library and dig through crappy index cards and look up shit in crusty encyclopedias. Go to hell World Book encyclopedia. You can burn with all the other books. What have books done for us in the last five years other than raise our monitors to proper viewing height. Stupid books. I'm gonna go burn down a library. Dumb, underfunded, community money pit. I'm gonna go buy a Kindle and sit on the from steps of that burnt down library, take a picture of myself reading it and blow it up to poster size and put it up in the entry to all the other libraries in town.
Okay, I won't. But not because I don't want to. It's so the homeless guy in my neighborhood has somplace to cruise the web for sixth graders.


I've spent the whole day watching the Oprah network. It's alot like a channel created for brainwashed orphans. Although, having been a brainwashed orphan, it is all starting to really make me feel at home. I remember when I was young and was playing with my Jesus action figure and making the realization about how true everything the action figure was telling me was true. If I really belive in him. a new messiah would come to the people. She would start as someone who tried to shock us with the harshness of human nature. Then she would change dress sizes and hair styles lime a chameleon changes colors. She would then show us real life miracles and the wisdom of Playboy Playmates. She really would be divine.
I realize now that my Jesus action figure was really talking about Oprah. She is the reincarnation of Jesus. I will wath her channel day and night. I will become an apostle. I will wait for the day she dies and is raised to lead us all to the promised land.
I hope they have nachos there.
I rally like nachos.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Jan 1

The start of a new year is always such a big deal. I mark it as another year that I stayed out of jail (motsly), another year older, another year I did not learn to play the didgeridoo, another year...
There are things I'm glad about as the years pass. Like technological discoveries. Information transference is getting faster and the rash I have is clearing up nicely.
All in all, I think it's gonna be a good year.
Probably not.