Monday, September 19, 2011

So I met a racist.

This story mght be partially true.
When I was young I worked in a factory. It was full of people striving for a variety of means. Some people were bigots. I know, it's hard to believe that a factory would have in it's employment people of a small minded view of the world, but it's true. So one fine day as I am walking along with a coworker, on our way off of break back to the warehouse where I was a forklift driver, we say a generic greeting to a fellow coworker walking in the opposite direction. We get past him and my coworker says that the guy we just passed was getting a black girl. I give him a sideways look. He looks at me and hurriedly says that he does not have a problem with black people at all, but he doesn't think white and blacks should marry. I am quiet for a second and the ask him if he is saying he would not fuck Tyra Banks. Now let me just say here that this was a while ago when Tyra was not all America's Next Top Model drama queen. Back when she was quiet. And interesting. So my coworker says something to the effect of hell yes he would. I then ask if given the chance that he would not marry Tyra? He replies that hell yes he would marry her. I look at him and calmly say "Maybe that is ho he sees his fiancé. She is his Tyra Banks. That's what being in love is."
He looks at me and very thoughtfully says "I would have never thought of it like that. Wow. You're right."
I look upon that moment as eradicating a bit of bigotry from the world. A moment I feel very proud of.
That coworker was Pablo Picasso. Not really, it was Ho Chi Mihn.
I'm kidding. It was Franklin Delano Roosavelt.
It wasn't FDR. It was Brett Favre. Not really. I don't actually remember the guys name. It was some fucking dumb redneck name. Whatever. The point is, is that he is now married to Tyra Banks. He's not. He's married to Elton John.
I guess what I'm tying to say, is that I felt like I made a difference in the world that day. It felt good.


  1. You're an effin' hero, man. Truly, they will build statues in your honor. Or at least small rock piles. You know, if they have rocks and they need to build some piles. They might name the pile after you is what I'm saying.