Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Voting. It's not just for smart people anymore.

Take me for instance. I have a fourth grade education and work as a doorstop, yet I am allowed to vote. Pretty fricken' cool. The other day I was wandering around, totally baked, when I saw a bunch of people walking into a school. I am looking at the 'Vote here' sign over the door when it dawns on me...IT'S VOTING DAY! I love voting because afterward you get a sucker. I head in the door and after the longest wait of my life I get my ballot. I hope next time I don't have to wait the ten minutes because it is a bit of a buzzkill.
I get to the voting booth with my ballot and pick up the pen. I immediately fill in the wrong circle. I ask for another ballot. I immediately fill in the wrong circle again.  I get another ballot. This time I am doing just fine until I see the name Richard Headstrom. Heeheeeheheheheeeheee. Dick Head-strum. Heheeheeheee. I can't stop giggling. I look over at the woman next to me and show her the name. She doesn't find it amusing. Maybe she doesn't get it, so I explain it to her. I get a tap on the shoulder from one of the election people. He tells me to mind my own business. I mind my own business I say as I grab my crotch. "Dick Head-strum. "
He then asks me to leave. I tell him to go to hell, I was just trying to share a voting joke with the lovely lady next to me. Election dude grabs my shirt. I grab onto the voting booth and start to scream "Leave me alone you Dick Head-strum lover!"
   He has my feet off the ground pulling me and I am laughing so hard i loose my grip. My upper half hits the floor hard and my ears start to ring really loud. I mean so loud I can't hear what anyone is saying. Poll worker guy and two others are dragging me by my feet to the door.
   I still can't stop laughing and screaming "WHERE IS MY SUCKER?"
  I get pushed out the door and told not to come back. I guess I will be adding this to the list of things not to do while voting. Dang. I need some Doritos.

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