Looking for a job

So I'm looking for a job. This is the first time in 17 years that I've had to look for work. I've switched jobs since then, but I've been sought out. Basically asked if I wanted the job. Now I'm in a new town and have to look for a job.  No more paper resume is kinda a nice change. Online this and that is so much more convenient.  Emailing instead of driving and calling is pretty nice too. The fact that I can job search in my undies is pretty sweet.  Interviewing in my undies seems to be less than appreciated, though. In my industry it used to be considered taboo to wear a dress shirt.  Now it's all "I need you to put your pants on." And can you put out that comically large cigar." And "Live kittens are not for juggling." Whatever. I'm my own person. I can't be held back! Or held down. And cuffed.  And sometimes tazed.
I'm a free spirit. My work should speak for itself. Most people think phone book delivery is a thing of the past, but I will keep it alive!
Now where are my pants? Oh, who am I kidding. I don't need pants.