Writng

So, writing a blog is different than I expected. I have so many random thoughts that I think I could expand on but I don't have the writing experience to fulfill. So my new tactic will be trepanning. Got my drill, a sharp bit, some cloth to catch the blood and a bit of platic in case things get really messy. I'm gonna release the demons and start typing.
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Idea about size

So I have this idea that we, as a people, are getting too big. Not fat, just big. Everyone loves tall people. I think we are going the wrong way. If we tried to get people to evolve smaller, think of the resources we could save! If we got people to be about two foot six, we could put an extra floor in every room and double the square footage of every house! Our cars could be half the size and automatically our four lane highways become eight lanes! Genius, right? I know.

Fred Basset

Fred Basset is incredibly unfunny. A friend of mine had a great theory that it was actually four panels long, but American papers only had room for three, so they would leave off the last panel. Thereby leaving off the panel with the punchline. It only makes sense. No comic strip can be so consistantly un funny and still be printed.
Fuck Fred Basset.

Bollywood

I wa filming my Bollywood spectacular today and accidently kissed my costar. I don't know what I was thinking! I mean, I thought I was leaning in and she was pulling back, but somehow she pulled in too and we kissed. It wouln't be such a big deal but it was a live simulcast to all of India and botswana. I don't know why Botswana is so big on Bollywood spectaculars, but they are. I fear this is the end of my Bollywood career. Damn.

If I were poor...

If I were poor...
Oh, wait...I am.
I'm really not poor. I don't get money either. I am so bad with money. My wife gives me the amount of cash I will need for any given event.
If I start the week with a hundred bucks, I can go through the week, not buy anything, and still end the week broke.

If I were rich...

If I were really rich...
I would be driven to dinner in a car and then have my expensive car delivered to the restaurant so people could see how rich I was.
I would build my mansion inside a clear geodesic dome and heat it all.
I would make bets on how fast I could lose money gambling and then lose that bet too.
I would train miniture horses to ride other horses and then race them.
I would create my own clothing line and super market it, but stop wearing it before it got really popular, so I could say I was wearing that before it was popular.
I would hire popular bands to come to my party and open for some small time local band.
I would tell Jessica Lange I loved her in King Kong.
I would start a church so I could hang out with John Travolta.
I would prank friends by knocking them out and keeping them comatose for a year and waking them up in the exact same position and place.
I would create a spam email company but wouldn't sell anything.
I would eradicate afghans. The blanket, not the people.
I would buy every ford pinto in the world and destroy them all except for one. So I had the only one left in the world.
What would you do?

Flintstones

Wow, do the Flintstones cartoons suck. What was the attraction as a child? Honeymooners animated? Is if familiarity of characters? What? They are so not funny at all.
Velma Dinkley is hot tho.