Authority and me. We don't get along. We never have and probably never will. Yesterday, for instance, I pulled in front of an unmarked police vehicle. He was going slow, and me being the horribly impatient driver that I am, sped up, flipped the signal and pulled in front of him. He then speeds up behind me and me thinking "speed up now, asshole, not when there is no one in front of you, but when you have someone to follow. Fucking sheep.". What I should have been thinking was "Is that a spotlight attached to the side of that SUV? It sure is. I bet that is an unmarked police vehicle.".
I pull up to a stop light. To give you a bit of local color here, I am crossing into downtown Minneapolis on the Cetral Avenue bridge. Stopping at the stop light at the end of the bridge leaves the car still on the bridge. Waiting there, the bridge moves under the car from the weight of the passing and stopping cars. Not only is the feelin unsettling, but from that location the view of the 35W bridge is afforded. The new one that replaced the one that collapsed during rush hour and killed thirteen people. It is am unpleasant feeling all around.
The SUV pulls up next to me A full car lenghten and a half away from the car in front of him. I am trying to ignore him. He honks his horn. I look over. He has his window down and is leaning out. I lower the passenger window and he asks if my signals are working. I say they are working just fine. *cough* pig *cough*. He looks at me hard. I see his doo opening as the light turns green. I check my rear view mirror. Nothing. I throw it in reverse and punch it. As I quickly hit forty miles per hour (that's KPH for metric users) in reverse I see him trying desparately to negotiate a u turn on a bridge with a car behind him, two lanes of oncoming traffic, and while screaming into a CB with a great amount of failure. I hit the brakes, turn hard right swinging the front end left and around, at about one hundred and twenty degrees I jamb it in drive and punch the gas pedal down. The inertia carries me around and at the one eighty I have lost only five miles per hour which I quickly make up. I blow through the first light and make a hard right onto University Ave. I will be heading through the UofM campus and that could be problematic. I am up to seventy in no time. I can see flashing lights in my rear view. I have a very good head start. It won't be long before I lose what I have gained. I hang a quick left and another onto fourth. I slow to normal speed and pretend like nothing has happened. I look left and see two squads headed after me in the oppsite direction. I get back up to Central Ave. and turn left.four blocks later I am on the bridge again. I pull up to the stop light at the end of the bridge. I notice an SUV pull up next to me. I am trying to ignore him. He honks his horn. I look over. He is leaning out his window. I lower my passenger window. He leans out and asks me if my respect for authority is broken. I tell him it is. He tells me to get it fixed or next time it will be a ticket. I nod, raise the window and drive smoothly away as the light turns green.