For first time readers, all of this stuff starts off as a truth but deviates quickly. So don't feel compelled to notify authorities, or get me on some list, or complain to my mom, or tell my teacher and get me in trouble like that jerk, Bobby "I'm a total fucking brown noser" Schneider, cuz that guy really pisses me off. I'm gonna drop a deuce in his locker one of these days. Damn, I hate that guy.
So anyway, most of this stuff is made up. All the illegal stuff for sure is totally made up. I swear. I wouldn't lie to you. I like you. You seem nice. You have real pretty hair, too. And you smell nice. Like vanilla. Mmmmm...I like vanilla. Not vanilla ice cream though, that stuff is total bullshit as far as ice cream goes.
Anyway, like I was saying, made up. Stream of consciousness crapola.