Candidate choices

It was election time recently in the UK, Australia, Canada and other places with a queen on their money. When voting, picking a candidate can be tough. Often times I vote for the least evil of the bunch and hope for a better choice next time. Others pick along party lines, this gives us the candidate who was recently arrested for human trafficking still getting twenty percent of the vote. Once heard "I don't want a president who's smarter than me. I want someone who I can sit down and have a beer with.". That president got us into two wars and an economic tailspin. Yeah, I want a president smarter than me. Hell, I want one with fucking x-ray vision and spider sense. I want Einstein, Noam Chompsky, Ralph Nader and Zeus all rolled into one. Anyone who wants someone dumber than them is obviouly working their way down a short ladder. Yeah, vote for the guy with the Velcro shoe straps and the helmet. Or maybe they are waiting to wheel out the third Bush kid, the one no one talks about. If you want some one dumber that you as president, instead of going somewhere to vote, scrawl VOTIN' BUUTH on your bathroom door and place you vote in the appropriate porcelain receptical.

If you can dream it...

If you can dream it, you can create it.
That is the tag line for the Wii drawing pad. It sounds like a commercial for Inception. I think it's a bit of a stretch for a drawing board. Even inception seemed weak on the imaginative side. Dream it-create it.
I think I would start with a walk down a birch tree lined lane, late summer. Air getting crisp and the first leaves turning. The gravel crunching underfoot. Walking slowly toward a point where the trees and trail end in a soft grassy knoll. Just past, the world falls away into a mist. Beautiful, right? Dream this. The scent, the sound, the sight, the monster robot climbing out if the mist, it's open cockpit a perfect fit for your humanity, a place to shed your morals, no right or wrong in fucking dreamland pal! Guns blazing, leaping forward, crushing village and voice under the whirring din of the machine, Ministry and Nine Inch Nails mash-up blazing in your ears, screaming for vengence and glory. Flames spinning around the mech as the legs melt out from under you and the fall to earth becomes a flight into the void. It's staring back and it echoes through the hole that was your soul and it knows it's found a host. Then you are petting puppies. Cuz they is soooo cute. Lol! Dream it. Don't bother with the creating. It will never match your expectation. Except for the puppies part. Lol. Puppies. Tee hee.

sculpture gardens

In Minneapolis there is a sculpture garden at the Walker Art Museum. It is where the Spoon And Cherry Bridge is. Anyone looking up Minneapolis will see a picture of it. I have often wondered about getting some art displayed there. Not through 'legal' methods. I mean what would it take to sneak a sculpture in. Get a plaque made describing the work, pur a small concrete slab to put it on. I bet it wouldn't be that hard.
Here's the plan. First build a base at home. Make it out of a wooden frame cover it with a thin layer of concrete so it looks solid. Leave holes so you can pour concrete and water into th base on site. You get the look without having to wait for cure time.
Next, build a sculpture large enough to be in the garden. Make it in small pieces that will sleeve together on site. You don't want bolts or anything that would take time to assemble.
After you have those parts, make a plaque. Something light and paint it like the other plaques.
Now what you need is people. About a dozen. It seems like alot, but there are security concerns that need to be addressed that require people. First there are cameras. So iwould choose a foggy night. Second, these places usually have sound detection of some sort so wear quiet clothing or have a friend take the muffler off their car and drive slowly around the block several times. Third, and here is where the number of people come in, they have infared fencing around the perimeter. What is going to have to happen is a system of passing everything over the top of this fence so as not to break the beam.
So, once you get set up down the block, carry everything you will need at once. Get all but two people inside the perimeter. Those two will hand everything over the fence and then stand as lookouts. The other ten get the material to the spot and quickly get down the bace and pour some concrete into the frame. The assembly will make a bit of noise, so have everything sleeve together tightly so it is hard to remove but easy to go together. Get it together and run.
Now you are an artist!

A few posts

I've written a few posts lately that have either been too serious or too weird to actually post. I know that sounds strange, but the last few weeks have seemed overly serious in the scope of world events. I'll try to change that in the next few days. Wish me luck.

Feel free to comment.

Really. I don't even care if the comment has to do with what you just read. Maybe you could tell me a story. That would be nice. Or give me an idea to write about, you could do that if you wanted. You could draw or take a picture and post it. I'm just throwing out a few ideas here. The possibilities are endless.
Don't be afraid or self conscious either. I won't judge you. That's not true. I will judge, but I don't know who you are, so it really doesn't matter.

Ancestry

So all the birther crap got me thinking about my ancestry. Luckily I know my ancestral line going back quite a way. We could start with apes, but that is pretty uninteresting for a lot of it. Except for the one who accidentally invented a comb. Nicest looking coat on any primate ancestor for twenty thousand years. Just beautiful. Sigh.
So, onto the ones I know are interesting. Mumod the robe maker fitted Gilgamesh his first robe. 2560bce-   Hoplip the flattend, crushed by a stone working on Khufu's pyramid at Giza. Famous because he survived being flattened with one arm up and one arm back in a walking position. Became a supermodel for heiroglyphics carving for the next twenty years. 2000bce. Jimbob the doubter, when Moses came down the mountain with the burning bush story, he was the one coughing "cou-bullshit-gh, ahem. Sorry, something in my throat. Did you see our golden cow? Nice, right.".
  33ce. Vito the stone roller. Roman guard known for the now famous practical joke of rolling tomb stones aside an tossing the body in the shrubs claiming "He just walked away! That way I think! You better go after him! Snicker.".
  1459 Johannes Enmelichtment Grutenberg. Invented moveable type t-shirt printing press. First shirt read "Ich bin mit dämlich." with an arrow. Classic. Previously only available in Latin, screen printed in one color.
  1776 Signing of the Declaration of Independence- N. Melish Scratchington signs his name, then draws a cock and balls with an arrow pointing to Edward Rutlidge. It is quickly erased along with his name, but if you hold it up to the light you can still see it.
It's easy to find this stuff, too. All I did was raid the Mormon's secret ancestry hide out. They have everyone's lineage. I have to get back to digging into my past. I'll post more as I find more.

You think you can do better?

So, you think you can do better? Well, you probably can.
Feel free to lift anything I write. Edit, add to, change, lenghten, shorten, adapt, whatever.
the rules: Let people know where the idea started from (meaning me, not where I stole it from.). If you make alot of money you have to take me out to dinner (somewhere nice. I may be easy, but I'm not cheap). If you make a movie I want a cameo and to be at the premier. If you write a book I want a character based on me (I don't care which character or how much that character is in the book. I will be happy if it is a delivery guy.). If you want to do it as a comic, get my Twitter profile pic in the background.
That is all.
Enmelishment@gmail.com