You think you can do better?

So, you think you can do better? Well, you probably can.
Feel free to lift anything I write. Edit, add to, change, lenghten, shorten, adapt, whatever.
the rules: Let people know where the idea started from (meaning me, not where I stole it from.). If you make alot of money you have to take me out to dinner (somewhere nice. I may be easy, but I'm not cheap). If you make a movie I want a cameo and to be at the premier. If you write a book I want a character based on me (I don't care which character or how much that character is in the book. I will be happy if it is a delivery guy.). If you want to do it as a comic, get my Twitter profile pic in the background.
That is all.
Enmelishment@gmail.com