Saturday, May 28, 2011

Memorial day weekend

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend. The weekend we remember all the men and women who served in the armed forces. We celebrate by grilling and killing foreigners. We don't kill them here. We kill them where they live. Otherwise it would ruin the grilling. Often we go to cabins on lakes. Around here it is kind of the real beginning or summer. And it is the start of white clothes wearing season. And snipe hunting season, and butt crack/muffin top/beer belly season. And dudes driving around shirtless which is just weird. And cold lake swimming season. And mosquito/West Nile virus season. And Deer tick/Lymes disease season. And sunburn season which is exceptionally bad because for eight months we hide our skin, getting it as pasty white as possible. It gets so white that the outer layer becomes translucent and will actually magnify the rays of the sun increasing the burn potential by a factor of four. People from the northern U.S. and Canada have actually start steaming on especially sunny days. Also outside baseball, camping, bon fire, badminton, block buster movie, pot growing, water balloon, grandma out of the attic and into the basement (cuz the attic gets too hot), allergy, sweaty, badger fighting, Renaissance festival, murder ball, sidewalk chalking, cop car burning, soccer rioting season. Let's get to it.

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