Thursday, March 31, 2011

King Tut

I went and saw the King Tut exhibit at our local science museum. They wouldn't allow any photographs. I found that odd. I walked through to the very end looking at everything closely. Then i went back and put my camera on continuous shot so it took pictures every second and walked through with my camera duct taped to my head. i put a mummy toe on the shutter button and taped over that. I don't think anyone noticed. Except security. I have been walked out of places before and it is really only mildly embarrassing getting hauled out of a museum by security. This time however, it was more than a little embarrassing  for every one. at first they asked me to walk with them,which I did. right up to the point we got to the tiny sarcophaguses that held the organs. At this point I hip checked one rent-a-cop and bum rushed the other. Arms crossed in front of me I drove him into a calcite jar used to hold oil. It didn't break till it hit the foot of the ahmenhotep statue. I ran toward the exit giving a good push to a museum worker and stiff arming another. I broke out of the exhibit into the cheesy gift shop filled with Tut hats and knockoff necklaces. Slid into a display of stuffed mummy dolls and careened into the open air of the general exhibits. I broke for the stairs and managed to get to the main floor where I encountered the first real resistance. Four rent-a-cops and a squad pulling up out front. I realized then I was less than a block from the Ramsey County (true! It is Ramsey county. Not a play on Ramses.) courthouse and police station. I was gonna run out of time fast. There was an emergency exit to my right and made for it. I hauled it to the door and hit it hard. The alarm went off and I was into the open air! Shit! I was on the observation deck overlooking the Mississippi river. Obviously everyone knew this but me. I came out at the far end of the deck. Away from the stairs down. Away from what I thought at the time was the only course to freedom. However,a quick look to my left showed me a way out. About twenty feet away and down was a large grain silo looking structure. I didn't care what it was or what was in it. It was close and it had steps going down along the side. Like I said, it's a twenty foot horizontal and twenty foot vertical jump. So I ran a big of a circle as I could to gain momentum. I was headed for the railing, a conveniently placed bench about a bound away, up the bench, another step up to the rail and flight!
Now what really happened is I took out my camera just to switch pockets and one of the staff politelty reminded me of no photography. I said thanks and enjoyed a nice glass of wine in the lobby before I left.

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