Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I was thinking about evolving. I'm not sure what the best evolutionary development would be though. I think about aliens and think the idea of 'Greys' is dumb. Look at them. A good shove and their big Precious Moments heads would be bouncing off the ground. Why would a race evolve that way. Dumb. More arms would be cool. Pinball would be a different game. Four buttons. Where would the extra flippers go? Devolve to get a prehensile tail? That might be handy. Pants would need another hole. That might cause chafing. A badly chafed tail might be mildly disturbing. I bet someone would make a quality tail cream that would resolve that. Probably Aveda. Better eyesight? Night vision would be good. Although living in a big city kinda makes that pointless. It's never really dark. Better smell would not be awesome. Gas station bathrooms. Nuff said. Run faster. That would be good. But I would have to make better time than driving. So better than thirty mph. That's a contender. Better taste is right out. I've had some bad things in my mouth. I don't think I would want my taste enhanced. Better hearing wouldn't help. I spend enough time trying to tune people out. A hairy coat? I've seen dudes with that already. It's not pretty. Webbed fingers and toes? I don't live close enough to water. Chameleon color change ability? There might be something there. I don't know what I would use that for though. Except to get better college funding. (that was a bit tasteless I know.) Smarter and faster probably win the day. And a tortoise like shell. And laser eyes. Fuck yeah, laser eyes.

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